Still here.

I realize this space has been quiet for literally, months. I do apologize. I have been pulled in a dozen different directions; big projects and big scary things. A literal broken heart as opposed to a figurative one. Creating a tiny legacy in this cute little town where I’m living. Wondering how long I’ll live here. Thinking a lot about mothers and daughters; from both perspectives. Writing when I can. Completely shaken and glued to NPR during the last week of Boston madness. Trying to remember what stillness feels like, and trying to personify hope. A few essays scribbled into pages, the backs of napkins from the coffee shop while I sit in the car and she sleeps in the backseat. (the upside of growth spurts -> naps!) Life is chaotic and messy right now; all beginnings and the dust and mud and clutter that entails. I’m still trying to tease the threads apart, weave them into something tangible and strong; a rope I can hold on to. I’ll let you know when I sort it out. It may take a little while so bear with me, but know that I’m here in the corner, listening, taking notes when I can, and trying to memorize everything.

What keeps you going when the world feels stretched too thin?



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7 responses to “Still here.

  1. Marty waters

    Dear Lauren,
    Your writing touches me. I am not a writer so I marvel at how you put things.please keep writing. I always read whatever you write many times.
    Love, Marty

  2. Howard

    I remind myself that life is empty and meaningless. (Which, by definition, is an empty and meaningless observation.) So each of us has the opportunity to define the meaningfulness of our lives every day. For a 69 year old who plans to be around at least another 30 years, I wake up every morning and am hugely grateful that I’m around for at least part of another day. The question now is: With only another 11,000-odd days left, what can I do to leave this planet a better place for my five grandchildren an their contemporaries?

    And one more perspective:

    • Lauren

      Good perspective. I think life has as much meaning as we are able to cram into it. For some people, that is none, for some it’s much, much more. I seem to be trying to cram it full, but the logistics are tricky.

  3. I think one thing that keeps me going is spending quiet time outdoors. Taking my camera helps me to do this and to become absorbed in just seeing what is around me. I notice that my breathing and the way I hold my jaw muscles changes when I do this.

    Good to see your post here.

    • Lauren

      Emma — that is so true! As I have spent less and less time in the woods and on rivers in the last couple of years, I think I’m definitely a little edgier. Quicker to lose patience. I’m trying to remedy that as well. I love your photos! Please keep taking your camera with you!! Have you thought of doing a show/sale? Seems there should be a market for your work where you guys are at.

      • It sounds like more time in the woods and on the rivers is a great idea for you right now, then. I hope that is possible!

        Thanks for liking my photos! 🙂 I have done two small exhibits in the past, though they were of the sorts of urban-decay-macro-texture photos I used to take. I have been generously invited to display photos a number of other times, but I never really feel motivated to do it. I really do appreciate that people like looking at my photos, though!

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